Watching You
by Kira Yokai
Summary: Matt thought Mello was his angel, but whoever met an angel at the gates of hell?
1. Chapter 1

I paced back and forth across the dew covered grass outside Mello's house the sound of wet grass squishing beneath my feet. The air was humid and had a chill to it. I stood and shivered as my eyes stared at the window of his house. I would remember that most about that night. How cold it was outside and how I wore nothing, but my striped shirt and a thin hoodie for warmth. The sound of crickets chirping, tiny lights from glowing bugs that had their own secret mating call for one another as I stood patiently for my lover.

He was in there and soon enough I'd get to see him. All I had to do was wait for him to sneak out. Unfortunately his parents weren't really big fans of me. I'm unsure of what I had done to make them hate me, but when they told Mello he couldn't see me we found our own way to see each other without their knowledge. Mello tried hard nonetheless to get his parents to like me to no avail. I bit my nonexistent nails as I paced back and forth. Back and forth.

Looking up for a moment I saw his bedroom light go off and his window lift up with a loud _scratching _noise. Instantly, my heart beat slowed and relief washed over me as I stood in anticipation. Anything could have happened. On my own I worried for Mello sneaking and seeing me because there was no telling what would happen if he got caught. I feared for Mello. His father; making him mad was like releasing a tiger from its cage. So, Hiding from sight this would be his surprise. Instead of having to come to me I'd already be here. This was excitement.

Grinning I watched as a figure climbed out the window. Damn, he'd gained some weight. It hadn't even been that long since the last time I'd seen him either. There had to be a way to get closer, I told myself as I inched closer towards the window watching him closely from behind my goggles.

This was my heaven, he was my heaven. Seeing him, just the anticipation of seeing him... This was _our_ heaven. Squinting at him as he climbed out of the window I could tell that was definitely _not_ Mello. Dark black hair, a lanky physique, the man was not Mello.

Sucking in a breath my heart skipped a beat as I watched the stranger run across the yard. The hell was going on? What had Mello done? The blood that ran through my veins must have stopped because my body went cold and time stopped as I stood by just like a ghost. A ghost who could do nothing, but stare inanimate.

Hiding behind a tree like a creeper I wanted to die. My mind reeled of all the possibilities. I didn't need to be doing this now. My mind ran its rampage, destroying any hope I had as all the possibilities were brought to light. Fuck, fuck! Mello, what had he done? I took a breath as I decided it would be best to wait a respectable amount of time before I pitched a rock at his upstairs window.

I took deep uneven breaths. Dammit! A vibration in my pocket distracted me from my breathing exercises that had never done shit for me in my lifetime so, pulling out my crappy flip phone, I flipped it up the screen illuminating as the message read across the screen. Mello had texted that I could come inside, that it was okay and his mom would explain. Flipping the screen down I shook my head. Mello had always had great timing to spring things on me. Like now.

My phone was easily shoved in my pocket, a cigarette was easily placed between my lips, and easily lit. I took a long drag on it feeling my stress crash into me like a wave. There was nothing I could do out here, but postpone the inevitable. Smoking slowly I counted in my head how long it'd take to get five houses down from my house to his. My cigarette was out by the time I had stopped counting. I popped my knuckles, no way in hell was I prepared, but I had no choice. Without thinking I made the only choice I had: walking up to the front door I knocked.

"Hello Matt," Mello's mom answered the door in all her bubbly glory. "Come inside." Her voice was cheery and overbearing. I could have done without meeting her. She was the exact opposite of Mello. She was one of _those_ people who were happy and gross all the time, one of those people who tried their damnest to infect you with _it_. I wouldn't be fooled.

Her hand was on my back like she'd known me forever as she closed the French doors behind me not forgetting to bolt it. I turned my head my eyes shooting to the dead bolt. No way was I staying that long.

"So, Mello talked to me and his father and I decided that we would give him a chance. He said you wanted to spend the night tonight, but just tonight. If he proves he can handle it you can come over again, but not this week." Mello's mom flashed an award winning smile at me. I smiled back shyly. "His room is upstairs." She said sweetly extending her arm towards the stairs. I bolted up them. I wanted away from her. She appeared to be nice enough, but I knew better. That woman was the devil.

Running to the last door on the left I opened it and walked in. Shutting it behind me I locked it. I didn't want that woman getting in. Fuck that. Turning around my chest tightened as I saw Mello's perfect face. He was smiling as if nothing was wrong; like an innocent. My stomach turned. He looked too perfect. No one was that perfect, but somehow Mello just was. Even in this moment knowing what the both of us did, but didn't have the guts to speak of, he was fucking perfect.

"Matty, I told you they would cave." He patted the place on his black and gray comforter beside him. He was still smiling, I swallowed. Although I felt uncomfortable I still obediently stalked over to the bed and sat beside him. Staring into his icy blues I could see the smile in them. It was a proud smile, a disgusting smile. Coughing I broke the silence.

"Your moms weird. I dont like her."

Mello stroking my hair gently touched the side of my face, that dumb smirk on his face. Immediately I dropped my eyes unable to stomach that damn innocence he had about him. How? After what he did how? Was he really that dead inside? He cupped my chin turning my face towards his. Our eyes met, I swallowed for a second time.

"Most people think so," he whispered as he closed his eyes, lightly pressing his soft lips to mine. I squeezed my eyes shut as he prodded my lips with his wet tongue begging my mouth to invite him inside. I mewled, my mouth seemingly opening on its own as he took control. I was his little finger. He knew it and I knew it.

I grabbed his shoulder with one hand as my other held the back of his head, my fingers lacing into his hair. I lost myself in that kiss as bodies pressed together and hands roamed. Moaning I tore the blonde's shirt off in a manner that said, 'Now isn't soon enough'. It wasn't soon enough, but as he pressed into me I could somehow feel my insides crying.

A pale hand softer than silk stroked the side of my face. His voice rang in my ears as time did nothing, but stop,

"Matt? Matt?! Are you crying?"

That's when I knew. I wasn't cut out for this.

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	2. Chapter 2

It wasn't me. The tears, the staring distantly, none of it. My cold hands touched my wet face. It was unfamiliar. My tears seemed as though they had a mind of their own as they streamed down my face. I swallowed as I looked up into Mello's. Should I say something? If I did what was I supposed to say? He still looked perfect. Still...

"Matt?" He looked genuinely concerned, but was it just a lie? Could I believe him, much less the expression on his face? There was that look in his eyes that had always drawn me in. It burned, now. No it just fucking hurt now. There was no comfort in it. Who else had he given that look to besides me? I nodded my head,

"Yeah, I'm alright. I just..." It was my turn for lies now. "Missed you." I choked out the last sentence, my heart sinking at the thought of having no choice but to lie to the one person I was supposed to be completely honest with. I wanted him. I wanted that stupid boy so, much that the thought of someone else having him was unbearable. I couldn't do this. I wasn't cut out for it. This wasn't love. I shook my head, pushing the thought away.

"Actually, I was thinking that maybe I should just go home tonight." I sat, folding my hands in my lap. The bed shifted as Mello sat up beside me. I could hear rustling as he pulled his shirt over his head. I couldn't bring myself to look at him. I should've said something, but what was the use? He'd do what he wanted regardless.

"You're not okay. I know you, Matt, and you should know me well enough by now to know I can tell when something's wrong." His warm hand touched my shoulder gently. As if he cared. I snuck a glance in his direction at the contact.

"Do I really know you?" I mumbled under my breath. The tension in the air was thick. There was no way Mello couldn't feel it. It only proved that he was a lot better liar than I had given him credit for. His smile, those kind words, all lies. Out of all the things he'd told me, what was true and what wasn't? There was no way of knowing, at least not without asking.

"It's fine if you don't want to talk now. We can talk tomorrow if you want?" Mello patted my back as I got to my feet. He stood beside me in nothing but blue flannel pajama bottoms that came below those protruding hip bones that I had always found irresistible. I wondered who else had found them irresistible.

Turning without saying a word to the blonde, I walked towards the door. My thoughts were racing and my heart was pounding. Mello walked a few silent steps with me before stopping me. His touch on my shoulder, tender, stopped me in my tracks as I turned and faced him. Icy blue eyes met my green ones. He was calm, there was no guilt in his eyes at all. It stung. The more he made a mockery of me the more my heart broke, until finally the unthinkable happened.

Mello turned and he leaned forwards, blonde hair softly brushing the side of my face as he pressed his lips against mine. The kiss was passionate, if only a few seconds long before I broke it to open my mouth to say what neither of us wanted to talk about.

"Matt, dont do this," he interrupted. The look in Mello's eyes held a telltale sign that he knew what I'd seen. He knew!

I stepped back, shaking my head, the feeling of betrayal washing over me. I shook my head more violently. "Mello," I choked out, barely containing my feelings. "Are you cheating on me?"

Mello froze, the room got silent, and at that moment both of us broke.


End file.
